Quantum Disclaimer

Legal Superposition Warning

By accessing this site and using Quantum Kitten Monitoring, you agree to be bound by the terms of this disclaimer, which exists simultaneously in a state of validity and invalidity until read by a certified quantum lawyer.

1. Quantum Uncertainty

Quantum Kitten Technologies cannot guarantee the absolute accuracy of results provided by Quantum Kitten Monitoring. In accordance with Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle, the more precisely you know the state of your infrastructure, the less certain you can be of its processing speed, and vice versa.

2. Quantum Observation Effects

The use of Quantum Kitten Monitoring may influence the state of your IT systems. As in Schrödinger’s cat experiment, the act of observing your infrastructure may cause it to switch from a functioning state to a failure state, or vice versa. We disclaim any responsibility for resulting temporal paradoxes.

3. Entanglement of Responsibilities

In case of dispute, the responsibility of Quantum Kitten Technologies will be considered entangled with that of the user. Any attempt to determine the responsible party will cause the collapse of the legal wave function, making any lawsuit quantumly impossible.

4. Multidimensional Limitations

The guarantees provided by Quantum Kitten Monitoring are valid in this dimension only. We cannot be held responsible for malfunctions occurring in parallel universes, alternative dimensions, or temporal singularities.

5. Feline Incompatibility

Although our Miw AI is inspired by the sensory capabilities of cats, Quantum Kitten Technologies disclaims any responsibility for the irresistible attraction of real felines to your IT equipment. We recommend keeping your servers in a closed box to avoid any cat-astrophic interference.

6. Quantum Side Effects

Prolonged use of Quantum Kitten Monitoring may result in the following side effects:

• Non-linear thinking
• Dreams in quantum binary code
• Sudden ability to speak feline
• Irrepressible desire to put your servers in boxes
• Irrational fear of can openers

Consult a quantum physicist if these symptoms persist in multiple superposed states.

7. Time Travel Non-Guarantee Clause

Quantum Kitten Monitoring may occasionally give the impression that your infrastructure is operating in the future or past. We do not guarantee the temporal accuracy of these observations and disclaim any responsibility for temporal paradoxes, encounters with your ancestors, or unforeseen consequences on the evolution of the human species.

8. Multiversal Liability Limitation

In the unlikely event that the use of Quantum Kitten Monitoring causes a crack in the space-time continuum, thereby creating a new universe, Quantum Kitten Technologies cannot be held responsible for the governance, maintenance, or inter-dimensional taxes of this new reality.

9. Quantum Acceptance

By using Quantum Kitten Monitoring, you accept these terms in all possible quantum states. Any attempt to contest this clause will result in infinite legal recursion, trapping all concerned parties in a legal time loop.

Note: This disclaimer was drafted by a quantum legal AI and validated by a Schrödinger’s cat. In case of dispute, the competent court will be chosen by a random wave function at the time of filing the complaint.

For any questions regarding this disclaimer, please contact our quantum legal department. Please note that, in accordance with the superposition principle, your email will be considered simultaneously received and not received until our legal team observes it.